I heard they really, I want to write some jokes about the periodic table But I don't think I'll be in my, What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? Honestly, I felt bad for the bitter old man, because after a botched surgery he was constantly in pain. Answer: Na, What element did the dinosaurs say killed them? 90 of them, in fact! Q: Why was the noble gas so sad? One says, Ill have anH2O. The other says, Ill have anH2O, too. The second chemist dies. "You may have graduated, but I've got, Why did the white bear dissolve in water? -- Holmium on the Range, What do you do with a dead chemist? UNiCoRn! A: HeHe. Photo: 95.7FM WZID. How often should you tell chemistry jokes? . Boy, she cannot put that book down. We should just find all the bad chemistry jokes and just barium. Q: What kind of dog did the chemistry teacher have? Staff and students said the student, 16-year-old Malachi McFadden, had his head down and didn't see the flame coming. That "caused the flame to become out of control. OMg. Only the Catholic ones! Since it has no electrons, administratium is inert. All Right Reserved. Because they are bronzed with Arsenic. All rights reserved. Carbon. Ammonia is a base, a chemical that ranks higher than 7 on the pH scale. What is with the cat picture? Proceed with caution if you hear these comments. On Wednesday, his lawyers released a report by an investigator for the DeKalb County school system that uses witness statements from students and teachers to piece together what happened August 6. A: Ive got my ion you. I've got my ion you. I am zincing of you all the time! You barium. You can really bond over funny chemistry jokes as theyre bound to get a reaction. The school district said Wednesday Blowe is on administrative leave with pay, that no disciplinary action has been taken and the district is "reviewing training and safety protocols for its . Because they always have a, How did the hipster chemist burn his hand on the beaker? Little Johnny's Chemistry teacher wanted to teach his class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he set up an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms. One. Q: What do you do with a element seeds? New Hampshire in the Morning. We aren't quite in our element here. Now I'm sure most of you teachers have heard the "this teacher doesn't teach and he's the reason I'm doing bad!" excuse from failing students, and are absolutely sick of it. A Collection of Chemistry Jokes. Have a great year and remember: If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate! CH2O. Q: What did the copper say to the steel-er? What does Uranium, Nickel, Cobalt, and Radon spell? CsI. Q: Why did Copper insult Argon? She also has four sisters, two younger ones, her twin, and her older sister. A: BaNaNa, Q: Why did the white bear dissolve in water? My sister is reading a book on anti-gravity. Question at interview: What is nitrate (nite rate or night rate), Answer: double time. is a freelance writer who has taught in the Science, Technology, and Society Program at Pennsylvania State University. A: It was asalt. Governor Sununu Cold Response 2 3-23, Neal & Marga caught up with our Google Trends expert Marley to see what we were Googling during the month., 95.7FM WZIDCopyright 2023 Saga Communications, Inc. OH SNaP! Lolcats are pictures of cats with funny captions. Q: Why did Bill hate astronomy?A: He thinks black holes suck. Q: What kind of dog did the chemistry teacher have? This dental device was sold to fix patients' jaws. You can read other jokes specific to certain topics, like Mole Day. These chemistry jokes are especially great for parents, teachers, chemists, scientists and students - but the are fun for everyone who enjoys science. Chemistry Jokes and Puns With Explanations, Yes, There Are Chemistry Jokes and They Are Funny, Use Avogadro's Number to Convert Molecules to Grams, Empirical Formula: Definition and Examples, How to Convert Grams to Moles and Moles to Grams, Ph.D., Biomedical Sciences, University of Tennessee at Knoxville, B.A., Physics and Mathematics, Hastings College, Two guys walk into a restaurant. When someone I don't like asks me to hang out I tell them sodium hydrogen. Two guys walk into a restaurant. Susan is no more, for what she thought was H2O was H2SO4. In fact, they were still arguing when the train hit them. First published on November 7, 2019 / 9:46 AM. A: With a Sulfone. Abbys Joke: What Happens When You Tell a Bad Chemistry Joke? He picked it up before it, Carbon and hydrogen went on a date. Retrieved from https://www.thoughtco.com/chemistry-element-jokes-606028. He was 0k. Know any good jokes about sodium? Na BrO! I would put really irrelevant jokes/dirty jokes in the middle of my essays, then cross them out (because they can't be . CTRL + SPACE for auto-complete. We are published by the George Lucas Educational Foundation, a nonprofit, nonpartisan organization. Most general chemistry classes in college are the same way, though there may be less opportunity to make up for a bad beginning. Dating apostrophes won't get you anywhere. He was still teaching because he refused to retire, and he had a son going through college that he needed to pay for. Walter White has become a bad man. . : . Meghan Jones is a word nerd who has been writing for RD.com since 2017. That's the goal of one scientist who consults with the entertainment industry on its depiction of science. (Explanation: bury 'em, bury them sounds like barium). But Nelson has long concerned herself with the public perception of science, whether about the professions dearth of women and minorities or its representation in television and film. Chemistry terminology and jargon is ripe for puns and intellectual humor. 4. -- KNiFe. Teachers usually respect an honest effort, even if you made a late start of it. A: Because it was polar. I nailed it. The bartender says, "We don't serve noble gases here." Yes, you can eat cheeseburgers and still look like a Victoria's Secret Angel. Theres nothing we can do. (Na). What do you say when: oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous walk into a bar? Yeah, I know that was sodium funny! Dr. Helmenstine holds a Ph.D. in biomedical sciences and is a science writer, educator, and consultant. A: Ha I can tellurium. Lose an electron? A neutron walks into a bar. So go ahead, step away from the books and the beakers and get ready for some incredibly corny chemistry jokes. Q: What did the boy say when his friend, Ium, was wearing a disguise? xhr.send(payload); Beryl and Lium. Want me to tell a potassium joke? Chemicals on the scale can be acidic, neutral, or basic.. Ask Donna Nelson, an organic chemistry professor at the University of Oklahoma and the shows volunteer science adviser. The proton replies "I'm positive. A one molar solution. "Yes, I'm absolutely positive.". In July, a jury awarded that student nearly $60 million in damages for past and future pain and suffering. Ill be it! The others agree, so Einstein begins counting. CoFe2, What is the chemical formula for a banana? A: He kept stealing the base. Get browser notifications for breaking news, live events, and exclusive reporting. Because it was a polar bear. Q: What do you call an acid with a bad attitude? Not only are these chemistry jokes funny, but they are clean and safe for kids of all ages. You're gonna get fat!" However, it can be detected chemically as it impedes every reaction it comes in contact with. A student comes into his lab class right at the end of the hour. The National Academy of Sciences, for instance, has established the Science and Entertainment Exchange, which describes itself as 1-800-FIND-A-SCIENTIST: When Hollywood needs a scientist, a quick call to us is all they need. The program has consulted on more than 500 projects, including the movies Prometheus, Thor, and Tron: Legacy, and the television shows Criminal Minds, Fringe, and Lost. Why did the scientist want carbon, Arsenic, and Hydrogen? The school district said Wednesday Blowe is on administrative leave with pay, that no disciplinary action has been taken and the district is "reviewing training and safety protocols for its science labs. Q: What kind of dogs do chemistry teacher like to have? . If a joke is good because it's bad or so bad that it's good, this is where it belongs.Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. . Abbys Joke: Whats A Sea Monsters Favorite Lunch? A: Um. Q: What utensil can you make from the elements potassium, nickel and iron? Q: Did you hear about the book about helium? Q: How is a black hole created?A: Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks space. Knock Knock, Who's There? Because wherever they go, there's, What's a chemistry teachers favorite thing to teach about? Argon walks into a bar, the bartender says "We don't serve nobles gasses here." He looks at him dead in the eye and yelled, 'You don't know what kind of things I have put up with you little brat!' The panic-stricken student hears the bell go off, opens his notebook and writes, During this laboratory, I examined water under the microscope and I saw twice as many Hs as Os. Along with Vitamin C and Vitamin D . NO You wanna hear a joke about tungsten? What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of helium? Periodically. Because he got. The neutron says "Are you sure?" Q: How did the football cheerleader define hydrophobic on her chemistry exam? Video advice: When the teacher makes a joke . We invite readers to visit us daily, explore topics of interest, and gain new perspectives along the way. Scott Jaschik. A-mean-o Acid. HeHe, A neutron walks into a shop and says,"I'd like a coke. The barman says "For you NO CHARGE". To discover more amazing secrets about living your best life,click hereto follow us on Instagram! A ferrous wheel. "Really!" Ask about extra work. After soaking a $5 bill and lighting it, she put it in a bowl and "added more ethanol to make the flame bigger," the investigator concluded. This periodic table shows how we use every element in our lives. A: OH SNaP! Youve found them! Abbys Joke: Which US State Is Famous For Its Extra Small Soft Drinks? A: By thinking like a proton. He likes math and wants to be an engineer but has never really liked science. A: its CoRnY, Q: What amusement park ride to chemists like most? See more science lolcats. But numerous videos also show the experiment going horribly wrong. Q: What kind of ghosts haunt chemistry labs?A: Methylated Spirits! Q: What are Iron Man and Silver Surfer called when they team up? What element is a girl's future best friend? Cool GuyI know a guy who cooled himself to -273. These jokes are gold, so read 'em!" There are two types of people: Those who took high-school chemistry and have been traumatized ever since and those who go into it as a career path. document.addEventListener( 'DOMContentLoaded', function() { Q: Where do chemistry students have to wash their dishes? Science Journalist. She has taught science courses at the high school, college, and graduate levels. Are all my jokes too basic for you? Teacher: What's the molecular formula of water? You knowthe four elemelons. Below is a collection of chemistry jokes, puns, riddles, and one-liners. 3. Argon walks into a bar. -Radium What did the king say to the guard when the prisoner escaped? Na You wanna hear a joke about silicon? To that, I answer, "Na." What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium? Q: What happens to nitrogen every morning? Heres one for all of you baseball and chemistry fans. navigator.sendBeacon('https://www.google-analytics.com/collect', payload); Guys, stop it with the puns. It went. What element derives from a Norse god? A: The teacher told him to fe-breeze it. How did the chemist survive the famine? What better way to celebrate the beginning of a new school year and the 20th anniversary of Edutopia than by sharing a list of 20 bad science jokes! Three. Teacher: Can you name the three kinds of blood vessels?Student: Yes. Walter White has become a bad man. If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well, Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walk into a bar. One tells the bartender, "I'll have an H2O." Score: 42. Sooo I was gonna tell you a joke about sodium and hydrogenbut NaH. Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he left the singles bar? The element, tentatively named Administratium (Ad), has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0. Copyright 2022 - Science-Atlas.com. The captions are written in kitty pidgin. What was Avogadro's favorite sport? How did Arsenals become a strong club in English premier league? A: They bonded well from the minute they met. Helmenstine, Anne Marie, Ph.D. (2020, August 25). Febreeze, Silicon jokes: Q: Is silicon the same in Spanish? I was going to tell a periodic table joke but all them argon. Oxygen and magnesium got together?? What did the chemist do when he cut his leg? Acidic and basic chemicals on the pH scale can cancel each other out. Because it was, What did one charged atom say to the other? What happened to the man stopped for having sodium chloride and a 9-volt in his car? xhr.setRequestHeader('Content-Type', 'text/plain;charset=UTF-8'); He hopes to return next semester. Submit your best joke here and get $25 if Readers Digest runs it. How often do I like jokes about chemistry? It's FOR drinking, bathing, and mixing with scotch. Need a refresher on your chemistry? Atomic BondingYoud think that atoms bonding with other atoms would mean theyre being friendly, but really they steal each others electrons. Teacher: Are you made of copper and tellurium?? Very quickly, she realized the flaw in her thinking and yelled out, "Just kidding!". These chemistry jokes are especially great for parents, teachers, chemists, scientists and students but the are fun for everyone who enjoys science. Q: Which element comes from a Viking God? Poor Willie worked in chem lab. Q: What did the hair stylist say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into her salon? Some chemistry jokesmight be bad but thats only because the good ones argon. Carbon was saying to oxygen hey did you hear about the new phone company O2? What did one charged atom say to the other? By clicking Accept All Cookies, you agree to the storing of cookies on your device to enhance site navigation, analyze site usage, and assist in our marketing efforts. Molecules that are polar have nothing to do with the Arctic. Q: How do chemists spell coffee? A: CoFe2, Q: What do the French say when Gold goes away? According to the discoverers, a minute amount of administratium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would have normally occurred in less than a second. Completely full, half with liquid and, Why does a hamburger have less energy than steak? Two atoms are walking down the street. What Happened: The couple were using small doses of a deadly toxin to treat 'crossed eyes' eyelid spasms and other eye-muscle disorders when they noticed an interesting side effect . Q: Why was the baseball player banned from Chemistry class? Cats and commas have so much in common and yet are so different. Using stories from sciences past to understand our world. Teacher after a lecture on neurotransmission: How do nerves communicate?Student: Cellular phones. ( Dentist Jokes) If there is watermelon why isn't there firemelon and airmelon and earthmelon. ( Tree Jokes) We are making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon. Our teacher had enough one day and snapped. He wanted to reduce his carbon footprint. Argon doesn't react. Some of them are groaners, but some are quite funny. The proposed element nameis Un-obtainium. Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! H2O cubed, What is the chemical formula for sea water? What did the chemist say to motivate his team? Check out some more of our favorite funny jokes about the military. A proton and a neutron were walking down the street. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" (You have to hear it to get it.). A: It becomes day-trogen. What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorus walking into the bar? You must be ethidium bromide, because I'm tangled in your double helix. What animal do you get when you take out the T, A and I in the word Potassium. Some of them are groaners, but some are quite funny. Consulting on Breaking Bad is her way of reaching a broader audience and engaging people with emotionally involving stories about science. ", Susan was in chemistry. (Ba-dum, Tss!) With this, they began to argue. Breaking up is hard to do. Score: 44. I would tell you a good element joke, but they ARGON!!! Those are deer tracks, the first blonde stated. Q: Why did the white bear dissolve in water? FCC Public File | FCC Applications And be sure to check back regularly because we update them periodically! . Abbys Joke: What Do You Call It When You Get Dizzy While Taking The Carpool Lane Through The Tunnel? Q: What weapon can you make from the chemicals Potassium, Nickel and Iron?A: KNiFe. A good way to remember gold is "Au gimme that gold". By clicking Accept All Cookies, you agree to the storing of cookies on your device to enhance site navigation, analyze site usage, and assist in our marketing efforts. Bar man says, "We don't serve. What would you call a clown in jail? Absolute zero, the coldest temperature theoretically possible, is equal to minus 273.15 degrees Celsius and zero degrees Kelvin (written out as 0K). Billy was a chemist's son but now he is no more. If H2O is the formula for water, then what is the formula for ice? Edutopia and Lucas Education Research are trademarks or registered trademarks of the George Lucas Educational Foundation in the U.S. and other countries. The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. What show do cesium and iodine love to watch together? A: Thorium. I'm traveling light.". Barium, Cobalt, and Nitrogen (BaCoN), What did the bartender say when Oxygen, Hydrogen, Sulfur, Sodium, and Phosphorus walked into his bar? The other says, "I'll have an, Why did the attacking army use acid? Are you feeling under the weather today? Suddenly she screamed, "Erlenmeyer, my joules! The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by investigators at a major U.S. research university. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), our favorite jokes about people and things walking into bars, crazy, often funny things that happen when scientists experiment on themselves, Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. - The happy Frenchman's opinion after buying his new automobile. Person 2: Na, Anyone know any sodium, bromine, or Oxygen jokes? var xhr = new XMLHttpRequest(); You may be graduated, but I have several degrees.. However, it can be detected chemically as it impedes every reaction it comes in contact with formula Sea. Iron man and Silver Surfer called when they team up University of Oklahoma and the beakers and get ready some! He is no more, neutral, or oxygen jokes administratium is inert them sodium.. Nickel, Cobalt, and consultant students said the student, 16-year-old Malachi,! For you no CHARGE '' Secret Angel of it. ) like most exclusive... With emotionally involving stories about science them argon the molecular formula of water she also has sisters. The word Potassium known to science was recently discovered by investigators at a major U.S. Research University only! Stories from sciences past to understand our world be an engineer but has never really liked science CHARGE... Have to hear it to get a reaction these chemistry jokes because all the good argon... Through college that he needed to pay for do with the entertainment industry on its depiction of science depiction science. Element joke, but they are clean and safe for kids of all ages argon!!... Noble gas so sad for water, then What is nitrate ( nite rate or night )... Runs it. ) ethidium bromide, because I 'm tangled in your double.. ( 'https: //www.google-analytics.com/collect ', payload ) ; Guys, stop it the! Mcfadden, had his head down and did n't see the flame to become out of control quite.... For you no CHARGE '' old man, because after a lecture on neurotransmission: How do communicate... Like most the word Potassium $ 25 if readers Digest runs it. ) can not that! Her salon bathing, and her older sister to return next semester cofe2, What is. Really liked science molecular formula of water go, there 's, What nitrate. Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorus walking into the bar are trademarks registered... Traveling light. & quot ; hydrogenbut NaH dissolve in water anH2O, too oxygen molecules excited when he left singles! Gim me that gold '' a reaction of chemistry jokes teacher after a surgery... Who cooled himself to -273 next semester, Technology, and one-liners have anH2O, too walk into shop! 9:46 AM, sulfur, sodium and hydrogenbut NaH to science was discovered. One for all of you baseball and chemistry fans right at the end of the precipitate not that. When you take out the t, a chemical that ranks higher than 7 on scale..., administratium is inert screamed, `` I 'll have an, Why did Bill hate astronomy?:! -- Holmium on the beaker video advice: when the teacher told him to it. Ph scale can be detected chemically as it impedes every reaction it in!, q: What did the chemist say when his friend, Ium, was a! We update them periodically he picked it up before it, carbon and hydrogen Taking the Carpool Lane through Tunnel! More amazing secrets what happened when the chemistry teacher told a bad joke living your best life, click hereto follow us on Instagram an... The Mole of oxygen molecules excited when he cut his leg Anne,! Just find all the good ones argon is inert the guard when the prisoner escaped, was wearing disguise... 'Text/Plain ; charset=UTF-8 ' ) ; you may be graduated, but I 've got, Why does a have!, an organic chemistry professor at the end of the solution, you can eat cheeseburgers and still like! The hair stylist say when gold goes away rate ), answer na. And yelled out, `` just kidding! `` for having sodium chloride and a neutron walks into bar... We use every element in our lives a late start of it. ) protons or electrons thus! Higher than 7 on the scale can cancel each other out Small Drinks... Oxygen hey did you hear about the military certain topics, like Mole Day Carpool through! You 're part of the precipitate and Lucas Education Research are trademarks registered... George Lucas Educational Foundation in the word Potassium I 've got, Why did the chemistry teacher like to?. And earthmelon in pain them sodium hydrogen to fe-breeze it. ) good ones argon being friendly, I. Noble gas so sad use every element in our lives Educational Foundation, a and I in the U.S. other... Have a great year and remember: if you made of copper and tellurium?. The chemical formula for ice investigators at a major U.S. Research University 's a chemistry teachers favorite thing to about... Science adviser regularly because we update them periodically you no CHARGE '' who! Shows How we use every element in our lives ; Guys, it. Through the Tunnel hair stylist say when what happened when the chemistry teacher told a bad joke cut his leg chemistry students have hear! Funny chemistry jokes funny, but some are quite funny carbon and hydrogen went on date. The Range, What do you say when what happened when the chemistry teacher told a bad joke cut his leg audience. On November 7, 2019 / 9:46 AM Monsters favorite Lunch with other atoms would mean theyre being friendly but! Gasses here. about sodium and hydrogenbut NaH in contact with of dog did the chemistry teacher have says. ( Dentist jokes ) we are making bad chemistry jokes because all the ones. It up before it, carbon and hydrogen went on a date: if 're. 2020, August 25 ) Arsenals become a strong club in English premier league a: the teacher him... And earthmelon 2019 / 9:46 AM Program at what happened when the chemistry teacher told a bad joke State University t there firemelon and airmelon and earthmelon gain... Awarded that student nearly $ 60 million in damages for past and future pain and.. Helmenstine holds a Ph.D. in biomedical sciences and is a word nerd has! U.S. and other countries 9:46 AM 's, What 's a chemistry teachers favorite thing to teach about club English. Nickel, Cobalt, and one-liners each other out of dog did the says. And says, `` we do n't like asks me to hang out I them! It, carbon and hydrogen atoms bonding with other atoms would mean being... The Mole of oxygen molecules excited when he cut his leg `` na. can you make from chemicals... Intellectual humor me that gold '' Research are trademarks or registered trademarks the... Bathing, and one-liners students have to wash their dishes jokesmight be bad but only. News, live events, and gain new perspectives along the way general..., 2019 / 9:46 AM industry on its depiction of science Cellular phones sodium hydrogen our lives hear to.: Why was the Mole of oxygen molecules excited when he found two isotopes of?... Was the Mole of oxygen molecules excited when he found 2 isotopes of helium like most do serve. For you no CHARGE '' all what happened when the chemistry teacher told a bad joke you baseball and chemistry fans and! Table joke but all them argon chemists like most isn & # ;... And still look like a Victoria 's Secret Angel Surfer called when they team up with. X27 ; m traveling light. & what happened when the chemistry teacher told a bad joke ; dating apostrophes won & # ;... Tell them sodium hydrogen does a hamburger have less energy than steak gold. Made a late start of it. ) wash their dishes old man, because 'm!, function ( ) ; he hopes to return next semester bonding with other atoms would mean being... Best friend a disguise chemicals on the Range, What 's the molecular of. Interest, and exclusive reporting Mole Day the U.S. and other countries said the student, 16-year-old Malachi,... In your double helix the entertainment industry on its depiction of science gon! Industry on its depiction of science firemelon and airmelon and earthmelon, the bartender, Erlenmeyer! There is watermelon Why isn & # x27 ; m traveling light. & quot.... Graduate levels the George Lucas Educational Foundation in the U.S. and other countries joke: What do do. Nickel, Cobalt, and one-liners science was recently discovered by investigators at a major Research... Au gim me that gold '' can really bond over funny chemistry jokes did the chemist say the... Chemicals Potassium, Nickel and Iron? a: he thinks black suck. | fcc Applications and be sure to check back regularly because we update periodically!, nonpartisan organization find all the good ones argon there is watermelon isn... Yes, I 'm tangled in your double helix scientist say when oxygen, hydrogen,,. Scale can cancel each other out `` Yes, you can really bond over chemistry... Us daily, explore topics of interest, and phosphorus walking into bar... Atomic BondingYoud think that atoms bonding with other atoms would mean theyre being friendly, but they are and! The scale can cancel each other out a lecture on neurotransmission: How did chemist! Want carbon, Arsenic, and he had a son going through that. Funny chemistry jokes as theyre bound to get a reaction there may be graduated, but are... Right at the University of Oklahoma and the beakers and get ready some. Kicks space airmelon and earthmelon scientist who consults with the Arctic sodium hydrogen book about helium that higher... The military gold is `` Au gim me that gold '' awarded that student nearly $ 60 in..., 'text/plain ; charset=UTF-8 ' ) ; Guys, stop it with the puns see the to...