OK THEN. But somehow I manage not to be such a whiny bitch about it. John responded: 'I do have a couple [of sons], but they're both spoken for.' I honestly dont think he realizes he does it. He is such a grump its unbelievable. 1. What If Your Husband Says You Dont Do Enough Around The House? It turned out he had a MRSA abscess in his spine that partially crushed and severed the cord Crippling my husband I was hoping the day they medically retired him on the second of January 2010, After his spine was fused and he did not have Nerve impulse from the top of his legs down We were told he would be under antibiotic treatment for nearly the next seven months, With the harsh antibiotic came other problems like CDiff. Be prepared for all the things he doesnt want to do; you will do alone on vacation. I'd say I hope he catches your cold, but reading this gives me the sense he'd enjoy the whining opportunity far too much. Since they jumped him there was only the castle doctrine applied as families cried. After his return from the Navy's submarine service 3 and a half years. Please keep yours, at least in your heart. He keeps asking what I want to do next, I'm not about to answer that because every fucking suggestion I've made all morning has been met with attitude, so I tell him just to do what he wants, and he unloads on me about how I'm being so nasty towards him today and ruining the trip (FUCKING WHAT). Each has its own motivations and outcomes for the narcissist. Thats why they always go to their ultimate limits of endurance, and rest is another job for them to do. I have a friend who is a vulnerable narcissist. people with narcissistic personality traits. It's an expensive computer, money is tight, and there are a few things I really need (that's need, not want). With every new problem his father just became that much more upset, Not because his oldest son was ill but because he was not working for the betterment of the lives in the community and he considered my husband of no use, since after he acquired the MRSA, He was no longer able to help any one in the community to get their goals met and make him look great. and I along with our friends since 1985 had kept him from any thing he had earned in time off or seniority rights I had not been any kind of a wife just cheated on him claiming it was because of his social none cooperation and me. I don't tolerate men who are mean to me. You might not be able to save this special day from being ruined, but these steps may help you feel empowered to survive it. You just have to clearly set the goal, show that you are angry with the way he normally treats rest, and give him clear instructions. Not a bad idea tbh. after our wedding, Earlier in 1985 on June the 1st my husband actually threw a dinning room table at me his father and two women just trying to get him to back off the shift change preference he made at his job with his 9 and a half years of seniority to her half year seniority. It might not be the same but it would start a way to peace and nobody else would end up going to the ER. Through my work I have also spoken to many other families and have discovered that there are 6 ways to suck the joy right out of family dinners: Advertisement. So its not like we had different ideas of what spouses should do for one another or anything, he was just being an ass. Meanwhile I'm stifling my cough (remember, I just worked as hard as he did except I'm actually sick while doing it), wrangling the boys to keep them out of his way, and keeping a happy face on. It seems that for the first time in a very long The people around me weren't like I was. My husband just told me he hates me, he doesn't care about my feelings because My mother does not want me happy and tries to ruin my relationships, Husband says he cannot have a happy life with me. Your husband always needs a little more time to get used to any change, so this also applies to your vacation. He just tossed both by the collar out into the yard refusing any negotiation. He told me that he cared less about any promise to his father since I had broken hundreds if not thousands to him. He had worked for the city and was cut back, then ran for city council and went to work in the plant. me the picture. Psychology Today has a handy reference to this sad situation. Thats not a vacation, thats maternity leave and thats a lot of work! New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. !Oy Vey!! You may be experiencing abuse, but not realize it, because their strategy of expressing hostility is covert and manipulative, leading to There are many ways for your husband to ruin your vacation. every time I or his father intimidated him or caused him to work time he should have off he was going to hurt us in 2006 about the trip to Scandinavia he kept his promise at the airport door telling me as i retched on the floor after he kicked me in my belly and hit his father so hard he landed ten feet away as I begged holding my stomach stop hitting us and just do as he pleased those holidays of 2006 his area manager would not allow any one off until things could be sorted out without seeing someone else hurt or jailed My husband did not give up his position even with the union pleading just try some other options why was having his choice so important and he made the whole department work redoing the inventory and virtual cribs One union official told us he had made what should have been the best department in his plant to work in so Toxic over getting his time off the way his high seniority could get it they could not keep any one working in it. This way, I dont see a messy house, or get "ideas" of how to spend my day. No big deal. Happy. Every holiday, every birthday was an event, a memorable one. He has a thing for computers (we have three in the house already). I was hoping when we came back on the 13th of June he would listen to the proposal for our honey moon that was aborted when on our wedding night he had a change of orders to report that night to kings bay for his first patrol due to other sailors being busted in a drug test. It all depends on timing. csfa league table. I hope you feel better soon! Protect your (actual) holiday. Things that I would do and could do for myself to bring back those nice memories and good feelings of the holidays. The worst part? No judgments, no nastiness. See 1,000 traveler reviews, 150 candid photos, and great deals for Hampton Inn & Suites Hartford/East Hartford, ranked #1 of 6 hotels One solution is to agree with your husband that he will keep his comments to himself and endure his discomfort about the change. We start the walk, he's carrying the baby, I repeatedly offer to take the baby from him, but he's in martyr mode and refuses. To them, this guarantees a spot in your brain space that is at least equally as important as your anticipation of that holiday event. They will take their work assignments on vacation and use every moment to do something smart.. Have you tried calling him out on his negative attitude in the moment? Even if it means that the plan is nonexistent. I stepped out of my bedroom right into my husbands chest In a brand new outfit I was going to wear to the dinner that evening, I knew i had to do something to go with the group and started telling my husband I had promised his father to go that evening. I offered to pay for a hotel room for my mom who still has my two younger siblings at home and my dad who has been acting like a whole weirdo during shutdown and everyone is driving her crazy I feel so bad for her. His boss only deals with the best and spoils those around him. Honestly go somewhere without cell service or him. We were not allowed to return being called detriments to his recovery, I left for the Mideast on another 2 week vacation to Israel. I try my best to ignore his attitude and not ruin my and our daughters fun, but he will go to the lengths of making the trip painful, and we always get in a fight about something. Staying in a marriage with a man who constantly makes you unhappy wont change. We return the stupid cart and husband is still staggering around dramatically. Baby, did you poop? Just say what's going on. His union president told us that people were trying to stay as far away from him as they could after one of the men went on his job with pictures of his holidays on an International date line cruise with his wife. He said as long as he was pushed out of the rights he had earned we could drop dead I has never earned any right as his wife. Holy shit, I'm sorry your husband is such a tard. I spend the night coughing my guts out. And traffic. Notice they are always laughing and gathered around the dinner table. Workaholics really do feel like the world will come crashing down if they dont perform to the best of their ability. I was already sick and crying from the long flight and his apparent hatred of being my husband and being forced to work every day since we chose a apartment In South Carolina. The deacon claimed religiose need backed by the committeeman and the foreman after my husband was told he was working the 22nd Christmas in a row since our wedding I avoided seeing him on Christmas eve then went to try and discuss with him what we could do starting on his 48th birthday the 5th of January 2004 all he had to do was go to his Union and they could find a time he could take two and a half months off fully paid before memorial day. He would have been on his way an hour latter if his father did not use his friendship with a judge to get my husband ordered into work overriding the union contract. We don't have anywhere to be. I called 911 to stop my husband from committing murder on a man he had rendered defenseless causing major head trauma, My friend was taken to a major trauma center. Anytime we're doing something "fun" he has to suck the life right out of it. Just say what's going on. You have to communicate clearly with this kind of person, always letting him know what you want and why exactly you want it. Broken trust takes time and a lot of work to heal. Then he bitches that the selection isn't very good. My husband was taken to a Regional mental health in response to what was termed a irrational killing rage, where he was tranquilized and put in a straight jacket and a locked bare room for the night until he cooled off. It was completely unnecessary and she ruined what would have been a really enjoyable, mellow holiday.And she gave me lovely gifts..But what good are gifts if you treat the person your giving the gifts to like a dish rag?Kinda kills the enthusiasm doesnt it. As I begged I offered the sex life he had wanted before the Millennial I offered to stand with him over the holidays and call the police if his father sand others did any thing to stop him from taking the time off. Make a strategy before you go shopping or before you begin putting items in your traveling baggage. Now youre trying to heal from the relationship. This ones awesome. I've never figured out all the whys and why nots but my husband acts like this a lot. I remind him that we promised our 4yo that he could play in the sand/water for a little while, husband reluctantly agrees to give him a chance to do that, spends the next 30 minutes hurrying us through our fun, then goes to rent the cart. But I fucking swear, he bitches THE ENTIRE TIME we're riding. You can try to bring him closer to the beauty of the places you go to, but it never excites him. Holidays with narcissists, however, can take on a whole new significance. I nurse the baby. The Ultimate Narcissist Dictionary for Defining Narcissism and Narcissistic Abuse, How to Deal with a Narcissist During the Holidays, Comprehensive Narcissistic Abuse Dictionary, The Best Resources for Narcissistic Abuse Recovery, Trouble in Paradise: Why Narcissists Ruin Vacations, Narcissists and Valentines Day: Romantic Torture, How to Deal with a Narcissist During the Holidays, The Worst Thing You Can Do to a Narcissist, Songs About Narcissism: Your Abuse Recovery Playlist, Ten Things That May Happen in a New Relationship After Narcissistic Abuse, How to Outsmart a Narcissist and Break Their Spell, How Narcissists Ruin Holidays: It's Not Your Imagination, 7 Reasons Why Narcissists Won't Give You Closure, Why Cognitive Dissonance is Trauma to Narcissistic Abuse Survivors, How to Know If a Narcissist is Finished With You, How to Deal with a Narcissist When You Can't Go No Contact. Fun '' he has to suck the life right out of it time we 're doing something fun. 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