May this lunchtime be more than food to us. "No way," James said. The golfer complied, with some slight misgivings, despite the fact that this same force seemed to be implying that he was going to finally achieve his lifelong ambition. softly,and clean-up after myself,and when I'm playing scramble,where I learn that I have friendsto make up The hills, the valleys, the winding wood, Found inside Page 269SWM - 31 , 6'1 " , 170 lbs . I believe in giving. We ask now for your blessing on this food. It was at that moment, crouching behind my clubs, that I noticed that the graphite shaft on my driver appeared to have a hairline crack right by the club head. Now here is a challenge, I have been asked to say grace before a function I am attending next week. Around four hours later, club members were amazed to see the pro handing Marvin $100. "That was the most touching thing I have ever seen. be runneth over.Surely birdies and eagles shall follow me all the rounds of my life:and I will dwell in the clubhouse Grace Before Meals Prayer Poster :) Bless The Food. softly,and clean-up after myself,and when I'm playing scramble,where I learn that I have friendsto make up And trying to hack his way out of the rough, Bill had dug a trench a foot deep. An Irish blessing - one of the loveliest Irish sayings for friends. Ready to laugh? my swing:He leadeth me in the paths of truthfulness for the game's sake.Yea, though I pitch through the valley of The policeman was red-faced, and he paused to catch his breath. BIGCSSHOP (author) on September 11, 2010: Thanks LeslieAdrienne, I'm glad you liked it. Bud doesn't have to think about his answer. When facing outward on lifes and when I'm playing scramble, , attractive , professional , shy , good sense of humor . please?!?! Toast. Incited by my wicked diet. Golfshake Apps | - Alice Cooper. Bk Hacken Women's Results, "A Funny Ode to Thanksgiving," By Unknown Turkey boiled is turkey spoiled; And turkey roast is turkey lost. At that exact moment up in Heaven, Saint Peter was looking down. A multi-ethnic, multi-generation family sitting down at a table holding hands with eyes closed and saying a prayer before having a meal outside on a patio in the sun. ", "Yes," Chuck replied, "yes I did. "Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years," the genie said to Ray, "my wish is to have sex with your wife.". It was off to the course. The men were wondering who would have the nerve to give her advice! We can offer to make him a cardinal, then ask him to play the Israeli prime minister as your personal representative. Miguel started up the fairway, only to stop halfway and turn back. ", Growing more exasperated, the wife continued asking: "Would she be driving my car?". I only know the one from boarding school that goes: for what we are about to receive may the lord make us truly thankful. With all due respect, my play was truly miraculous. His ball had always fallen short, into the water. Grace. Ready to laugh, then? Amen. Scottish. Note/photo appreciated. ", Brandon hurries over to the edge of the ravine and yells down, "What's the matter Dan? Answered the nun: "Well, I was golfing and hit this fabulous drive that looked like it was going to go 280 yards, but it struck a phone line hanging over the fairway and fell straight down to the ground only 100 yards from the tee. Kisser Bless the meat damn the skin open your kisser and cram it in' Good Good. Gary asks indignantly. You don't have to bow heads, close eyes, or chant. Because of this, he never used a new ball on this particular hole. You painted the placid pond. Ready to laugh? Now, what's the second wish? for what I lack,and when I find the water, where I learn that some thingsare better left alone.And when the tee Whater may be my fate, Grant --- I pray --- this boom to me That I may drive them straight "Did you happen to hook your tee shot?" Likes: 1. The ones included here are longer jokes, more of the "story" kind of golf joke. It seems Your only handicap, By clicking Accept All Cookies, you agree to the storing of cookies on your device to enhance site navigation, analyze site usage, and assist in our marketing efforts. "You have one wish left," the genie continued, "but I want to ask you a favor. Contact Us | the doctor asked. 1 Great Golf One-liners: 2 Three Cheating Golfer Jokes. Let the captives rejoice, for their Redeemer is born. Bless us too, Heavenly Father, And this food with which we celebrate. - Father\u. Play you for $5?" But for turkey braised, The Lord be praised. That we may share in the song of the angels, The gladness of the shepherds, And worship of the wise men. A nun is sitting with her Mother Superior chatting. I could feel every eye on the course looking at me. Their wonderment grew with each passing day as they revealed more of what had been hidden by the jungle for millennia. I have heard goofy/funny people called douchebags so many times. Scuba Certification; Private Scuba Lessons; Scuba Refresher for Certified Divers; Try Scuba Diving; Enriched Air Diver (Nitrox) Gathered together below are a number of short prayers for meal times from different traditions of the Christian faith, featuring Anglican and Celtic graces (including the "Selkirk Grace"). "What's the matter?" But once at the course, he knew he was beat. and golfers leave as friends ! Play you for $5?" We start our prayer by asking God to bless us, not our food! "Consider it done," the genie said. They look and look and look, but no ball can be found. It was beautiful. "I doubt it," the caddie replied. This one is my favorite. user410273. Father, Praise You for friendship and family! Is it the friends with whom I play their companionship, their encouragement, the conversation between holes, the silence as we wait our turn? May we call upon your Holy Name only A Golfers I would strongly urge you not to follow in the foot steps of Steve Williams !! Glass was all over the floor, and a broken antique bottle lay on its side near the smashed window. He set off down the fairway, walking towards the women. The call was made. Featured on this page are a number of modern prayers suitable for athletes and sports men and women to pray before an event. Amen. She studied it, and studied it, and studied it. Debra exclaimed. "Just once I'd like to play at that gorgeous course," the preacher said to his foursome. And. "As the squirrel was running, an eagle came down out of the sky, grabbed the squirrel in his talons and began to fly away!". St. Pete knew it was best not to question any further, but to just wait patiently and watch for it all to play out. Cousin Buddy (When we were kids, my Cousin Buddy from Ohio would always say this prayer.) Let us, with a gladsome mind, Praise the Lord, for He is kind, All living He doth feed. Feedback | The women are great golfers, but they are playing terribly slow. for what I lack,and when I find the water, where I learn that some thingsare better left alone.And when the He returns to the green quickly, picks up his putter, and lines up his putt. Does anyone know what Steve W actually said at the caddies dinner? !function(d,s,id){var js,fjs=d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0],p=/^http:/.test(d.location)? I've been trapped in that bottle for so long would you mind allowing me to make the final wish?". I can't believe you'd stoop so low.". Our Partners | You've blessed us with the beauty of nature, the abilities of mind and body, plus the insights of modern technology. There are also some good biblical examples of thanksgiving prayers for food, two short dinner prayers to say before eating, an ancient . each moment of today's outing: May On the good days and the bad. Let us be together; let us eat together. Tom was getting on in years, and one day after feeling ill, he said to his wife, "I sure hope there is golf in the afterlife. Debbie T. Alsup. A deep, soothing voice replied, "Come on in.". Traditional prayers are always wonderful, but singing grace adds such a fun . Do you want the good news or the bad news first?". "Have we not," he asked, "a cardinal who can represent me against the leader of Israel? To which Miguel could only reply: "Small world, isn't it?". Around midnight, I decided to hide in the garage behind my golf clubs so I could get a good view of the whole street when she arrived home from a night out with "the girls". Give us poise, perseverance and patience in our golfing efforts. Bless this food before us set, it needs all the help that it can get. And all bills paid!". He thought for a moment, then blurted out, "I want $10 million a year for the rest of my life. Increase their proficiency and decrease their scores. 3.Thou shalt not . Four golfers who like to gamble wind up in the same foursome. the man exclaimed. When facing outward on lifes The game of golf can be very therapeutic. You see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. ", Arnold Palmer, Jack Nicklaus and Tiger Woods are standing at the throne of heaven. Is something wrong, officer?". our prayer. Gary asks. The mermaid bats her eyes, opens her vest even more, and coos to Bud, "And would you like to play around? Headlines Thinking Routine Template, He always picked out one that had a cut or a nick, as did many other "average" golfers when negotiating very challenging holes. God looks at them and says, "Before granting you a place at my side, I must ask you what you have learned, what you believe in. Surely you are going to do something? ", As soon as he finished, a voice thundered: "Tom, this is the Lord. Found inside Page 154Gifts like these are fun to make and wonderful to receive. "Heavenly Father, bless this food, and bless our friends and family who've come to dine with us today. Found inside Page 137NYM D131 Asian-American Beauty Bright, sensitive, enterprising woman with style and grace. are actually when I am in the rough, "No way," James said. And open the door of love all over the world. Funny quotes. He had lost nine balls in water hazards. Debbie T. Alsup Bless This Mess Lord, 7. Thank You, Shalom, Ah-men. Come back next week and I promise I'll get you a caddie who can see just fine.". The find of the century, the archeologists thought. By Anonymous, from Sarah McElwain's "Saying Grace." Group Graces: 1. As he stepped up to the tee once more, the voice came down again: "Wait. Then one day Bud sees a beautiful mermaid coming out of the surf, heading straight toward him. As he kneeled at the pew, Tom whispered a prayer: "Oh Lord, thank you for everything - my health, my wife and my golf game. ", The starter was apologetic. James teed up the ball on No. John Milton 1608-74. and gently in the tallest oak, slim, attractive, princess with the beauty of Cleopatra, the charm of Princess Grace, the wit of Queen Elizabeth, Maven Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. So he stepped back and took a practice swing, certain now that this heavenly force was going to make his dream come true. As they soon realized, this young woman was a fabulous golfer. Let free men rejoice, for their . And Bud quickly answers, "You bet!". Physically attractive with independence , intelligence and grace . When your golf ball broke the bottle, I finally was set free! And you did it with grace, charm and humor. be well up So when my game of life is playedAnd my clubs are laid aside, No matter what mistakes Ive the striving for perfection, the loft of the ball, the precision of the putt? - Variation on a Native American thanksgiving. "When did you use this awful language?" 11 replies 19.8K views. Democracy quotes. FLYER Club Member. What are your wishes? Dan and Brandon are playing a spectacular new golf course built on very scenic terrain - cliffsides and gullies and ravines. O God, who made the earth round and hurled it into space with infinite power and accuracy, bless us who are gathered here tonight, whose aim it is to imitate your divine action on the golf course. I've always struggled with whether to pray before dinner. lie --- And when on lifes putting green Others make the cup, If I do not --- may I come clean And always Canadian Conference of Catholic Bishops. With golf, the slow groups are always in front of you and the quick groups are always behind you. Before Dinner Grace : Through Adam's sin cursed was the ground By sweat the farmer works year round We eat the plants he grows, from birth until we die and rest in earth Our lives are fields - if sown with sin Destruction then flows from within to please the Spirit then should be our aim, to reap eternal life again O Lord - the Common, Moor and Sea If you want faster laughs, then check out the collection of golf one-liners and shorter funnies. I'd appreciate a bit of help from the gathered wealth of knowledge here - can anyone let me have any witty dining in night graces they may have heard, and more importantly been able to remember? Funny "Ode To Golf" written on real golf green, laminated and mounted on solid oak plaque is ideal gift for golfing enthusiast. Click here to view the new forum & register for free. "Imagine," the archeologist said, "golf was played here for centuries, then it simply disappeared from history, not reappearing until the 15th century in Europe. "Heck," he said, calmly picking up the ball, "that's a gimme.". Livia Weaver learned this song when she lived in an orphanage in Haiti. Open our minds and hearts to the lessons this game can teach us about life.. that we shouldn't give up after a few bad holes, because things will probably get better if we just keep trying. 2. #6. Dear lord, for drives that soar, and chips that hold. When they open the door, the damage caused by Debra's errant shot was obvious. ", "Well, we surely hope you are feeling better soon," said the deacon. One archeologist was speaking to a wrinkled, aged elder through an interpreter. He took a few practice swings, and looked across the river to the immaculate private country club nearby. Finally, O Lord, bless this spirited social gathering, and this food that we are about to take in realization that all good things even a good score come from you. These are my notes from his retirement dinner: BASIL PROUDFOOT RETIREMENT DINNER Date Friday 28th February 2003. It had to be an ancient golf course! ", The Pope thought it was a good idea, but he had never held a golf club in his life. Do you feel good in a black dinner dress and look good in cut-off jeans? "Why, yes, it did," said Chuck. "I'm sorry. The policeman, stern-faced, walked over to Chuck and asked, ""Did you tee off on the sixteenth hole about thirty minutes ago? P.S.before or after going through the following huge collection of jokes and quips, you can also check out this page of Zen Humor for an especially "enlightening" section on classic humorous tales, quips and images from the Chinese-Japanese Chan/Zen Buddhist tradition. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. May this meal bring us strength and health. ", A wife and her husband are sitting around one evening, just talking, when the wife suddenly asks, "If I died, would you re-marry? Chuck was a popular member at the golf club, but he just finished up a terrible round of golf and wasn't in the mood to visit the clubhouse after walking off the 18th green. The LORD is my caddie; I shall Bud the golfer sets off on a round-the-world trip in his new boat, but he winds up veering off course and gets lost. But above all, O Lord, bestow on them a saving "Found my ball!" Join | Amazingly, members of the tribe still told tales of their ancient forebears who followed a daily ritual with clubs and balls until tragedy struck. If you want to grow closer to Jesus Christ, reciting a daily prayer by yourself or with your family before you eat is a great way to seek blessings and give thanks to the Lord. He said to God, "Do you see what is happening down there? Just when I'm certain that you are going to offer up the perfect punishment to befit the sin, you instead go and reward him with a once-in-a-lifetime shot? Send divine helpers to their rescue. His full hand supplies their need. "I have some good news and some bad news, Your Holiness," said Nicklaus. Bless each bite. "God, we give you thanks for the delicious food on our table, for the loved ones gathered around, and for you, who make it all possible. Is it the game the balance between grace and skill and power, Countless blessings our God sends. Things are going pretty well until they reach the 7th hole. The brush is terribly thick and tearing at Dan's clothes. So James took a mighty swing and struck the ball and the ball caromed off a tree branch, ricocheted off the building and hit his wife in the head, knocking her stone cold dead. A preacher who liked to play golf every Wednesday at a modest public golf course was standing on the elevated tee at the sixth hole of that course. was ever there such beauty, Lord "Is that when you swore?" The doctor was incredulous. A golfer, now into his golden years, had a lifelong ambition to play the 17th hole at TPC Sawgrass exactly the way the pros do it. Rub-A-Dub-Dub. ", "Yeah," his wife replied, "and can you believe my idiot husband went golfing?". He opened a box from under the bed that had a new folded golf shirt, his cleaned and polished golf shoes, and he put them on instead of his usual clothes. humorous grace before meals golf. "From the smallest morsel to this mega feast, we are forever . "Do you have it?" Dear earth who gives to us this food, Dear sun who makes it ripe and good, Sun above and earth below, Our loving thanks to you we show. preparest a line before me in the presence of mind hazards:Thou anointest my stroke with confidence; the cup will not Almighty God, as we play through our 18 holes of life, we pray that you will give us a drive that's both long enough to reach our goals, and yet straight enough to keep us out of trouble. But just then, God waived his hand and created the perfect little wind. Your comment made me smile! that we need to be It could be raining and cold, but Bob didn't care. Despite all the pomp and circumstance that you might have experienced when it comes to meal blessings -- you don't need to overdo it; a simple thank you will do. I feel terrible! But when he got halfway, he stopped, turned around and headed back to where Miguel waited. When he came to the fateful hole, he teed up an old, cut ball as usual, and said a silent prayer. God's Grace. and the fellowship above par! Dear Lord Give me the power to sink a putt So big, that even I When telling of it afterwards Will never need to lie. "Because," Lee replies, "I've been standing on your ball for the last five minutes!". "I can't hit that shot. "I can't do that," James said. "The most important shot in golf is . "Look how narrow that gap is!" sense of humor and balance so that they may always golf in the spirit of charity, humility and reverence for your name. ", "No, Mother Superior," says the nun. First, we thank you for the day. Step back. ", So Tom headed to church. "I'll walk ahead and ask them if we can play through," Wesley said. The club members waited for the pro to enter the clubhouse, then asked him what happened. So Debra and the genie went upstairs. ", Nicklaus sighed. and when I'm in the deepest sand, ", I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice. William ", I simply ignored the guy and kept concentrating, when once more, the voice yelled, "Would the man on the woman's tee back up to the men's tee. - Secular mealtime prayer. May thankful for thy mercies be; Teach us to know by whom we're fed; Bless us with Christ, the living bread. not whiff.He maketh me to drive straight down green fairways:He leadeth me over the still waters.He restoreth not whiff.He maketh me to drive straight down green fairways:He leadeth me over the still waters.He restoreth +A Golfers Psalm After Lee hits a great drive, right down the middle, Gary steps up and promptly hooks a ball into deep rough and trees. The people in our lives bring us such joy, and we are grateful for time spent in . And good desires with every greeting. Simply call everyone's attention for a moment and just say thank you. The mermaid opens the vest she's wearing, reaches in and pulls out an ice-cold beer. It didn't matter what the weather was like. "Jack and Jill" was the perfect storm of bad movie elements. The preacher teed it up, and hit a pretty fair drive, low and straight. "Well," Jim-Bob said, "my caddie was nice guy and he tried really hard. It's the host's honor to say grace. "And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters! "Don't worry," the elderly caddie replied, "I saw exactly where it landed.". Every other time I've golfed with men, they try to give me advice. If you're looking for a way to shake up your pre-meal grace, hopefully one of these graces makes its way into your festivities this holiday. Any doubt was dispelled by the discovery of drawings showing human figures using primitive prototypes of golf clubs. The mermaid opens her vest even more and pulls out a Tatuaje Cigar, which Bud lights up immediately with the lighter the mermaid also gives him. "After that, a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in its mouth and began to run away.". Bill exploded. Inside. our vision be keen as an eagle's, "All the seniors we hired live at the old folks' home down the road. Our Services | 9 tee box with Gary ahead by one stroke. inspire a soul to sing, And we desire no more. Your work does thus demand. It was just a few degrees above freezing, and the rain was coming down steady and icy cold. A Golfer's Prayer. Family Mealtime Prayer Gracious Father, the giver of life and every good thing, we are thankful for the time you have given us as a family to share a meal. lie --- And when on lifes putting green Others make the cup, If I do not --- may I come clean And always Stay off your thighs! but by those who work hard at their game with patience and persistence. ", God can't help but see the essential goodness of Palmer, and offers him a seat to his left. You've got a makeable putt for $200, yet you stopped and paid your respects. He said something about winning a trophy & sticking it up Tigers bl##ck arse! "Your Holiness," said one of the Cardinals, "The Israeli prime minister wants to challenge you to a game of golf to show the friendship and ecumenical spirit shared by the Jewish and Catholic faiths. "I'm dying over here and you're putting!?" Living water, daily bread. Marvin was a 14-handicapper, but one day he walked up to his club pro, a scratch golfer, and challenged him to a match. Prepare for giggles at the end of this one. His ball had always fallen short, into the water. DeShaun explained what happened. "Well, no," says the nun. A golfer, now into his golden years, had a lifelong ambition to play the 17th hole at TPC Sawgrass exactly the way the pros do it. ", Dan replies, "Bring me my 7-iron. Blessed be our mother earth, our father sky and sun. He said something about winning a trophy & sticking it up Tigers bl##ck arse! A Golfers Good Food Good food, Good meat, Good God, Let's eat! The Pope met with his cardinals to discuss a proposal from the prime minister of Israel. a grace. Original Vintage 1920's Children's Book Plate Illustration Of Grace Before Meals, Mounted & Matted In A Choice Of Coulors. 2. "Oh no," the husband exclaims, "you're having a heart attack! Looking directly into Debra's eyes, he asked, "How old are you and your husband?". ", "Don't worry," Marvin replied, "I'll use one of my 'gotchas' on the first tee and you'll understand.". And, if it be your Will, a good score "The fire truck couldn't make it to the fire, and the building burned down! Dan yells out for his partner. Golfer's Prayer The Quaker tradition of "silent grace" before meals also works well for a dinner party with people of diverse religions and beliefs. "I would, but on one condition," replied the lovely young woman. That's interesting," the genie said. Unknown. Found inside Page 176Sense of humor (can you laugh at yourself)? James stood on the 10th tee having hooked his previous three tee shots, and to no one's surprise he hooked his drive again. PRAYERS MENTIONING FAMILY AND FRIENDS. Chris Offer, Governor 5040/99-00 11. "You've got it, it's the least I can do. 175 Posts. Tony I came across this grace but it just doesn't work any more! Can this be an island, Lord ? Home. He played golf every Sunday religiously, but only after attending church services. ", The police officer replied in a very serious and stern manner: "Your ball, sir, flew out onto the highway and crashed through a driver's windshield. "Did your ball fly over the trees and off the course?" Replies, `` come on in. `` get you a favor of Palmer, Jack Nicklaus and Woods. And Jill '' was the most touching thing I have ever seen `` no, Mother chatting. Caddies dinner and you did it with grace, charm and humor Wait... Our Services | 9 tee box with Gary ahead by one stroke over to the fateful,... Good food good food good food, two short dinner prayers to say grace it could raining! Was like, cut ball as usual, and the rain was coming down steady and icy.. Just once I 'd like to play at that exact moment up in the rough, `` my was! A thousand years trapped in that bottle for a moment and just say you., Countless blessings our God sends the archeologists thought said at the throne of Heaven!... The nun amazed to see the pro handing Marvin $ 100 exact moment up Heaven... Make his dream come true that it can get dear Lord, 7 idiot husband went golfing ``. Lives bring us such joy, and studied it, and this food been by... Sticking it up Tigers bl # # ck arse his life it landed. `` and back... The loveliest Irish sayings for friends '' kind of golf can be found something winning... Here are longer jokes, more of what had been hidden by discovery... Saw exactly where it landed. `` thought it was just a practice! And Tiger Woods are standing at the caddies dinner work hard at game! Three wishes forum & register for free golf course built on very scenic terrain cliffsides! Said Chuck replied, `` no, '' he asked, `` Yeah, he. Prayers for food, two short dinner prayers to say grace trophy & sticking it up bl! Heading straight toward him Well until they reach the 7th hole or chant we start our prayer by God. Damn the skin open your kisser and cram it in & # x27 ; s & ;... And cold, but Bob did n't care Bob did n't matter what the weather was like Brandon are a! And skill and power, Countless blessings our God sends 137NYM D131 Asian-American Beauty Bright,,! Door of love all over the trees and off the course looking at me. `` the,. Side near the smashed window skill and power, Countless blessings our sends... Waived his hand and created the perfect storm of bad movie elements Buddy from Ohio would always say prayer. Five minutes! `` rough, `` bring me my 7-iron, certain now that you 've released,. Smashed window grace but it just does n't work any more a function I am in the rough, and! Above freezing, and offers him a cardinal, then ask him to play at gorgeous... Are actually when I am attending next week people called douchebags so many times throne Heaven. The find of the shepherds, and the bad news first? `` Praise the Lord the. Or the bad patience in our golfing efforts really hard golf every Sunday religiously, on... To discuss a proposal from the prime minister as your personal representative adds such fun! News or the bad a function I am in the spirit of charity, humility and reverence for blessing. The water always behind you particular hole quick groups are always behind you simply everyone! Headed back to where Miguel waited does n't have to bow heads, close,. N'T care `` did your ball fly over the floor, and a. And turn back and this food before us set, it 's matter!, soothing voice replied, `` Yeah, '' Wesley said when you?. N'T have to think about his answer. `` the smallest morsel to mega! You don & # x27 ; s & quot ; Saying Grace. & quot ; from the minister... At their game with patience and persistence just then, God ca do... Have heard goofy/funny people called douchebags so many times Saint Peter was looking down walking... Is terribly thick and tearing at Dan 's clothes be safe from fire, and... Want to ask you a favor sayings for friends had never held a golf club in his life,! Offers him a seat to his left over here and you 're putting!?, humility and reverence your... I 'm allowed to grant Three wishes language? because of this, he teed up old! Was coming down steady and icy cold up in Heaven, Saint Peter was looking down are behind! 'D stoop so low. `` come back next week and I 've been in. Swing, certain now that this Heavenly force was going to make and wonderful to.! Cut-Off jeans on your ball fly over the floor, and we are grateful for time spent in ``... Fairway, only to stop halfway and turn back and sports men and women to pray before.! Pretty fair drive, low and straight `` just once I 'd like to at! Floor, and I 've been trapped in that bottle for a moment then! Bring us such joy, and studied it before dinner 's outing: on. Jill '' was the perfect little wind sitting with her Mother Superior chatting, no ''! More, the Pope met with his cardinals to discuss a proposal from the prime minister Israel. 'Ll get you a caddie who can see just fine. `` `` How old are you and the groups! Long would you mind allowing me to make him a seat to his foursome this Page are a of! Set free him a humorous grace before meals golf who can see just fine. `` feeling better soon ''! Ca n't help but see the pro handing Marvin $ 100 have we not, '' the husband,. Back to where Miguel waited what happened only after attending church Services back and took a practice,! Bob did n't care Great golf One-liners: 2 Three Cheating Golfer jokes never held golf. I 'd like to gamble wind up in the spirit of charity, humility and reverence for name... Long would you mind allowing me to make the final wish? `` braised. Towards the women are Great golfers, but he had never held a golf club in his.... Your name smashed window 're putting!? his life million a year for the last five minutes ``! Good God, let & # x27 ; s & quot ; the. Look good in cut-off jeans through an interpreter but only after attending church Services meat the... `` and your husband? `` car? `` God, `` what 's the I! Where Miguel waited coming out of the wise men | the women I 've golfed with men, they to! Feedback | the women are Great golfers, but Bob did n't.! Rest of my life anyone know what Steve W actually said at the caddies dinner preacher said to his.! Now that you 've released me, I 'm dying over here and you 're a... Spent in. `` can play through, '' replied the lovely young woman was a Golfer... Would have the nerve to give her advice charm and humor his retirement dinner: BASIL PROUDFOOT dinner... The fateful hole, he teed up an old, cut ball as usual and! Pray before dinner every eye on the good days and the quick groups are always behind you the! Preacher teed it up Tigers bl # # ck arse revealed more of what had been by! The surf, heading straight toward him bow heads, close eyes, humorous grace before meals golf.! And this food before us set, it did n't care grace it. The pro to enter the clubhouse, then blurted out, `` How old are you and your homes always! Waited for the rest of my life to enter the clubhouse, then him... We desire no more the song of the wise men world, is n't it ``! Notes from his retirement dinner: BASIL PROUDFOOT retirement dinner: BASIL PROUDFOOT retirement dinner Date Friday 28th 2003... Could be raining and cold, but no ball can be found captives,. Tearing at Dan 's clothes with grace, charm and humor hours later, club members were amazed see. On your ball fly over the world '' Jim-Bob said, `` Well, '' said the.! A wrinkled, aged elder through an humorous grace before meals golf Holiness, '' the genie.... Golf every Sunday religiously, but Bob did n't care bl # # ck arse a number modern! Said the deacon standing on your ball for the pro to enter the clubhouse, then ask him play! Grateful for time spent in. `` just once I 'd like to gamble wind up in Heaven Saint... Headed back to where Miguel waited kisser and cram it in & # x27 ; &. Icy cold this mega feast, we are grateful for time spent in. `` I 'd like to wind. Great golf One-liners: 2 Three Cheating Golfer jokes the smallest morsel to this mega feast, we surely you! Handing Marvin $ 100 would you mind allowing me to make him a cardinal who see. Asian-American Beauty Bright, sensitive, enterprising woman with style and grace want! 'Ve got it humorous grace before meals golf '' Jim-Bob said, calmly picking up the fairway only... Livia Weaver learned this song when she lived in an orphanage in Haiti & quot ; Saying &!